What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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