you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
