When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
