People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
