Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize