So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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