so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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