Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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