By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm going to jail i love you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
