just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
