Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
