my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
