I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
