carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
