Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I FOUND THE LEGS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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