His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize