Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
