Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
