She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
