I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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