I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
