I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
