have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you bring me the toilet please
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
