And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
