I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
