But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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