weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
