I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my sisters under your porch take her home
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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