I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
