Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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