don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
