Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
