So drunk its hurt
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
