ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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