You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
