So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
