Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
