trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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