heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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