piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
