no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
