i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
