Dual....:-)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
