Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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