i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
