How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
