Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Pants are for mortals
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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