the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize