I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
