i just made my gag reflex go away.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
