Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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