Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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