How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
