i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You pole danced in your parka.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
