i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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