what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
