singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
