I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
