let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
