so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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