its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
