But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
